Sometimes.

There's school tomorrow. Plenty of papers to be marked.

It's 3am and I've not gotten to sleep after an hour of trying.

Something just bugs me. The uncertainty that plagues just about everything in my life.

I'm a creature of continuity. I take to uncertainty like how SHE takes to all things electronic.

The uncertainty that surrounds my choice of career, my grades and my finances.

Why do I always feel that I've underachieved after all these years?


I know the feeling all too well.

Too often, it hits me like a speeding MRT train.

The feeling of inadequacy. Of being a misfit. An outcast.

Resignation has replaced optimism a long time ago. 13 years ago, to be exact.

Achievements have always preceded a fall.

I'm weary from picking myself up all the time.

I am supposed to have it all.

A doting girlfriend, a bunch of brothers that have stood by me these years.

Why do I always feel a need to prove my capability?

But right now, I'm standing on the edge of gainful employment.

What once seemed infinitely possible, there now exists just one choice.