The perennial excitement

The typical question du jour in the company of close friends is the same:

“Are you guys excited?”

It really got me thinking. Excited? We definitely are. However, my excitement is tempered with a tinge of worry. I’m worried that I’m not good responsible mature enough a father. Worried too about the vagaries in life, and that if anything untoward were to happen to me, these two loves of my life would not have someone to fall back on. Despite securing relative financial stability and adequate insurance coverage, I have always taken it upon myself to be the rock that Sonia (and in future, Erica) required.

When I learnt that Sonia was expecting, my first reaction was that of unbridled happiness. I was happy that my beloved maternal grandmother was a tai-po and my parents both could join the fabled ranks of the 50-ish grandparents. I was happy that the next stage in our lives could come so early, and that Sonia and I were at an age whereby we still remembered what it was like to be young.

And then came the first questions from well-meaning friends and colleagues –

“Wah, so young ar!”
“So fast! Are you all ready?”
“But you just started out in your career leh.”

Each question sowed a seed of doubt in my faith that we were ready. Was I really ready? Were we ready to nurse, inculcate and educate another individual totally dependent on our support and guidance? I pride myself as being a logical, level-headed and mature person, but dealing with matters of emotion, I am frequently at a loss.

Are we… Was I ready?

All I wish is for Erica to tell us, 28 years down the road that indeed you both were, dearest Mum and Dad.