I am guilty...

I hollered at HER. Yes. HER.
I was so fed up with HER enthusiasm about making money working part time in lieu of sharing this short remaining holiday with me that I... I sorta raised my pissed voice at HER. It didn't help that I was being whacked by 5 mobs in Rose Online. I didn't listen to HER explanations. And all the fuss over 13 bucks concerning the rental/purchase of HER graduation gown. And HER suggestion that I should make use of my time to make something for HER. Well, I guess I am at fault.

It's hard sustaining a relationship. The momentous times that we've been through together. The special day that was Valentine's, 2001. The euphoria at our 'A's. The bliss of our 21st birthday, celebrated together.

Yet, after all these years, our relationship has only emerged the stronger for them. All I want to say is.. despite the fractious moments that are bound to surface, despite all the times when your irritation and anger come to a boil and rear their collective ugly heads.. know that your love, having survived such trials and tribulations, will only emerge the nobler and purer for them.

Every relationship has its fair share of such moments, and no one has a perfect relationship. Love ain't a mirror, always smooth and shiny. It's more like a silver platter. Oxidation takes its toll, resulting in the formation of dull silver oxide. However, upon constant polishing and maintenance, the sparkle returns. Likewise, if left to the elements, the silver oxide protects the inner surface from becoming oxidised as well. Hence, no matter what the season, if the right foundations are laid, the platter will survive to live another day, awaiting its polishing.

I just read what I wrote. I am so lame. And so unromantic.
But that's just me. :p

Wet Day

What a bloody lousy game that was just now. Played ONE HALF of a match, and it was done in POURING RAIN. Drenched through and through. No cage as Bedok was still raining, and we went Five-Star to have chicken rice. At $5 a pop... Niama... After that, I reached home at 4 and spent time washing the muddy attire till 6pm. I totally messed up the toilet, and so I felt obliged to clean the entire toilet.... Cui, I was. Then I remembered I've gotta meet up with Ah-Zhen for dinner. Changed and left the house.

Well, it has been a while since I've met up with this dear cousin of mine. I now totally understand his feelings when he chose to transfer to SP after 1 year in NYJC. Well, we had a long chat, and I discovered that he's been doing extremely well in SP Life Science's Club, apparently, he's poised to inherit the Club President's throne. Well done, and please keep up the good work in SP. I can see that you're truely happy there. His pop is fine now. At least, fine enough to go 'paktor'-ing with his mom. That's a relief for moi.

I'm bored........................................

Wanted to go to HER place tonight, but she'd gone to attend a wake, and she'd no idea what time she'd be back. Coupled with the fact that she had work tomorrow, I decided to head back home. I guess I'll ask HER to land me the HDB Hub job la. Quite sick of bumming around doing nothing... Lol...

Maybe I'll blog more later. But then again, maybe not.

Results, results...

Looky this.... I've always been able to better HER academically.. but by the looks of this.. I hereby concede defeat. Happy celebrating DARLING!!!!

Koof is up for grabs!!

As the incredulity of last night's conversation began to sink in, I felt somewhat relieved at the finality in his voice. I suppose there will not be another episode in this long running saga which had been so much a dampener on his (otherwise smooth-sailing??) post-NS life so far. Having invested much of his time and effort into making things work out, it's really hard if you've gotta avoid treading on landmines whilst still running the relay.

I guess the defining aspect of a successful relationship (to quote a well-used phrase by Kueh) is the level of respect that both parties accord each other. Having to constantly gloss over irregularities and expecting unconditional support is not so much a bother as it is tiring. Love can be lost.

Well, potential applicants for the newly-opened post of Koof-嫂 can now apply at my comments board. Please include a recent photo of yourself and all vital information. (By vital, we mean vital like cup-size, favourite position and so on. Hobbies and past experience are secondary.) Screening tests will be conducted and only the successful will receive notification via email. The benchmark, as usual, will be Victoria Beckham. We reserve the right to reject participants at our sole discretion, and the judges' decisions are final. Expect a 3-week processing period due to the (potentially) sheer number of applications.

Here's an appetiser of Koof, for starters.


He claimed that the left photo didn't do him justice, so the right one's to soothe his egotistic injuries.

Whatever. He needs a break. And the next one had better do him good.

Mambo and a PSK... Lol

So today wuz the fateful Mambo day. Before Mambo, I met HER for the nice Ayam Panggang dinner at Plaza Singapura. For the cheapskate/thrifty sort, the grilled chicken set at Plaza Singapura is absolutely wonderful.. It costs 3.80 for a chicken leg, egg slice, rice and watery soup, along with a generous dollop of their signature black sauce ("Auntie, 可以多一点黑汁吗？").

Hehe, to think that 4 years back, a trip to PS would include a wallet-bursting meal at Swensen's/Fiesta/PastaMania.. Just that today necessitated a movie viewing since I'd not been to a proper date with HER since dunno when.. Well, J.Lo for once had passable acting (Maid in Manhattan/Jersey Girl... Ugh...), and Jane Fonda was believable as the self-absorbed Mom-in-Law... She's just made for that kind of character..

After the movie, I sent her back, and despite her constant implorations to stay the night and not go with my bros to Mambo, I fulfilled my promise and went... Lol... The fact that she was about to fall asleep helped.. Zhong picked me up at Braddell MRT (Thanks Bro). And so we went there, having stood RA up for an hour or so..

Well, CQ wuz there, and I saw my primary school friend, along with a TJC acquaintance and OCQ. That ass was there with girls again.. Oi OCQ... DUNNO WHO IS THE ONE WHO ALWAYS BOH JIO LOR... One other *ahem* (in)famous 'celeb' I saw was 吓血... (This name is in Chinese cos I guess she'd be self absorbed enough to google her name just to see wat notoriety has she lately garnered.) Well, funnily enough, the girls dancing next to us sidled up to Koof and began dancing in the CENTER of our circle, inclined towards the chick magnet's direction. And so Koof pretended not to notice, looking in other directions. When all else failed to dislodge her from her place of attention, Koofius made me 'notice' Kenneth and I sort of played along, and the girl's buddy dragged her away, much to her reluctance. And then, the girl that Koof had been saving himself for showed up. ST~!~! Me and Zhong kept making the stupid ST sign... pissing Koof off... Lol. In the end it sucked (Mambo I mean) cos the tunes that I really adored weren't played... Like those back in the good ol' days. Koof went to ST after much malingering. And so they disappeared up the stairs, to the bar... And the rest I can't be bothered to elaborate la. Nicely put, Koof joined us at half-time at ZHONG'S place cos Koofy had something to attend to involving supernovas (pardon the orgiastic overtones) and pretty drunk girls. Pretty drunk girls as in pretty and drunk... Lol..

Well so, the match was an ABSOLUTE WONDER. LFC have gained my respect man. And Dudek's antics (Wobbly wobbly) and luck will surely go down in the annals of Pool's history. Well, here I am back home bloggin and I am proud to say that it has been 22 hours since I last hit the sheets. Au revoir peeps. A demain.

Mambo Tmr?

It's been a good day today.. Woke up to HER doing her cross-stitching, went for lunch at Sakae Sushi TILL ~5... Well tomorrow's my first Mambo experience in a looooooooonnnng while. Guess it's gonna be for RA, as I am still very unwilling to haul my sorry (fat) ass down to the places where babes and hunks hang out.. LOL...

Never mind that. It has come to my notice that the A*Star scholar/blogger who posted on my earlier rant has had his blog removed. My email went unanswered too.. I guess it has got something to do with his being quoted on Sunday Times... The article attempted to answer the flames regarding Ms C.Z.Z., and so the journalist that quoted Gerald Liew inadvertently advertised his blogsite as well, leading to Mr P.Y. going there? I shan't speculate, but I sure hope that he ain't in any form of trouble. Anyhow, this blog is INTENDED for the storage of my own memories, and NO ONE ELSE other than a select couple of close friends are told of this blog's existence. If someone were to stumble onto this blog by pressing the "Go to the next blog" button, so be it.

Sure wish the brudders were all around. I miss soccer with them... We can ALL be on the ONE team and it'll be like old times again... MENG COME BAK QUICK AND STOP EATING UR ASS OFF IN EUROPE... Or issit not ur ass in question? Heh...

Computer Geek for hire...

Anyone interested in employing a computer freak? Not necessarily with the skills to match tho...

Hahaha... Pamela's HER good friend. Spent the ENTIRE afternoon at Pamela's house fixing her comp... And to no avail... First time I've been so frustrated by a bloody virus. It started off innocently enough. (Internet Explorer has problems accessing the website because your security settings prohibit blablabla due to ActiveX shite) It's MSNPG, it's a backdoor virus, takes advantage of the pre-SP2 exploits to download all sorts of other virii to the infected host's comp and the AMAZING thing is that IT SURVIVES FORMATTING... Ridiculously tough nut to crack. I'm supposing it exists in the fabled Master Boot Record OR D:\ drive which we did not format due to important files inside the D: drive. Well, I was stumped, despite my best efforts at removing the ~14 virii and trojans that came along with the parent virus. AVG wasn't much help (for once) and despite 2 formats, installation of Grisoft's AVG, Microsoft Anti-Spyware, Spysweeper, online scanning by Trend Micro's Housecall and Lavasoft's Ad-Aware, all of which had served me well in the past, NOTHING could be done about the popup by AVG that alerted me to the very first instance of infection (VIRUS ALERT!! The bloody file could not be removed.. MSNPG.EXE) Well I never... So I fully reformatted, and scanned, and installed drivers, and scanned, and went online, and scanned, and installed MS Anti Spyware, and used that to scan, and *BEEP*, lo and behold, (VIRUS ALERT!! The bloody file could not be removed.. MSNPG.EXE)(Let's call it THE EVENT). I wonder how I managed to keep the swear words within my head (whilst formulating a whole host of new cuss words for people who had all the time in the world to formulate virii and trojans). And so, Pamela called her sister's friend, a computer expert. "Oh... you never install SP2 ar." Aww right, he was so right... But the thing is, howdya install SP2 WITHOUT an active Internet connection?? By the time the BITS Windows Update even finished downloading, THE EVENT would have occurred. Oh rite, I shud haf downloaded SP2 before I came. Silly Me... SUXXXXXXX.... Frigging comp... And so I went to LAN gaming pretty pissed.. And perplexed..

Never mind that. Well, it certainly seems that the whole world has got a problem with their computers in one way or another. Mel wanted to share his internet connection with his sis. So I suggested P2P networking (i.e. cross-cabled lan cards/ ad-hoc wireless variant). We went to SLS, Fuwell and there we met many conflicting opinions. The 2 staff that came up to us knew absolutely NOTHING about ad-hoc networking ("It cannot be done" "You should get a router else it will not work") ARGGHHHH... I was pretty certain that even without a router, the gods of networking would have thought of implementing cross-cabled features in wireless networking. And yes, right on the first try, we got it to work. Mel wanted to share files with his sister though, and so we had to change his workgroup name. I used the stupid Networking Setup Wizard. WHICH CORRUPTED EVERY SETTING I HAD PAINSTAKINGLY MADE. And in the process of doing so, chose to override the default settings I had specified in the wireless adaptor's software. What a cock. And a big, ego-inflated one at that. To probably satisfy their master's lack of one. (Both cock and big ego).

Then again , don't they look alike?

For the (rare) people that have yet to experience the Force, The bloke on the left is Senator/Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious/Emperor Palpatine and the right chap is Bill Gate$.*snigger*

Okie. I was late for my KTV outing with WM,Thui and Mao2 after that. Mao2 WUZ EVEN LATER... We'd enjoyed ourselves, and certainly Mao2 had a great voice (as usual). The only other girl that could match her prowess would have to be Fangyu.. Or issit Kim Bee.. Arghhh I dunno la... Keep mixing up HER frens. I found that my singing had fallen to Fiona Xie's standards (read: lip-synching) when in the past, I could croon Ronald Cheng's soppy ballads with ease. Hah.

So after that, on our way back, I received 3 (yes, THREE) SOS calls. Computers. Firstly from Uncle Freddy. Who's Uncle Freddy? No, not my relative. Perhaps in the future(hehe). And so he had these beeping sounds emanating from his computer. I asked, with a certain degree of temerity, "how many?". Numerous, continuous beeps. And so I concluded it was either a problem with the graphics card. He exclaimed "Yea! I had a problem with nview.dll a couple of days ago.". Sir, I did not find the Holy Grail. Any geek worth his salt/RAM would probably know that as well. Haha. I requested that he reseat his graphics card, or else, perhaps I could come down in another week or so to rectify the problem. Case 1 closed.

Next up was Zhong. A much more murky problem. He could not connect to the internet despite being connected to the wireless network. Hmmm... Point to ponder.. We spent nearly an hour on the phone. I deemed it a problem with his router settings OR ADSL modem. In the end he got so frustrated that I promised to head down tomorrow to have a look.

Next up, Greggy. One of my Armourer men. He had a problem with ActiveX. Sounds familiar? "Greg. I was unable to solve another fren's similar problem. Tell u what. Since ur problem is in its infancy, use MS's AS,GS's AVG, WR's SS and LS's AA to scan." I should come up with codenames for them. Furthermore, since I figured that I have cited these software countless times, I should get endorsement fees man. Dammit. I'd be rich.

Bloody Starhub still down. No MSN Messenger. No BF. No RoseOnline. Got BT only. Boohoo.. Wow I spent an hour writing this entry... OMG.. O.o

I'm a rants person. Yes I am. So fxxk off Philip Yeo!

My blood was boiling when I read about the female scholar condoning A*Star's Philip Yeo's choice of words... For the uninitiated, here goes:


He's (Philip Yeo) right, says this scholarship holder. 'The local boys are Ok until they enter National Service. Once they enter NS, they complain a lot. I didn't know that guys could talk about the most minute things. Perhaps they're not used to the physical training or regimentation.' - Ms Chng Zhenzhi, 23, A*STAR scholarship holder.

So this gal is the one that Philip *I am no whiner* Yeo is looking for? Well done. NS has screwed us guys' brains. 2.5 years. It ain't short. Most of us guys find our way back. Some of us do not. If you'd never been thru the rigours of military training, STFU!! Absolute biatch.

Now... I feel better already. The atmosphere of fear that Philip has propagated marks a steep decline of our freedom of speech. Philip Yeo probably likes leading people on a tight leash. They ain't your dogs ok. Just cos they're your scholars, but it doesn't mean that they've gotta be bound to your every whim and that WE gotta accept all the insults hurled at the male community in general. Wimpy guys? Guess the pple feeling the worst now are the male scholars with A*Star. Will my blog be earmarked for legal action too? We shall see.

Cage today!!

I don't seem to enjoy cage days as much as I used to now. It seems... dreary to me.. to pinch of the bus fees ($3 to-and-fro) takes a huge pinch out of my savings.. With the potential increase in bus fares, it's gonna be even more costly. Sometimes I wonder if Dad is right. Will Singapore go downhill from now on? Anyhow, I'm paying bills left and right... How can I survive man... That's why sometimes I don't know if I should cancel all the non-necessities like SCV and such.

Celeste's blog suddenly doesn't seem that cheery anymore.. An unhappy post. Hey guys... Dun quarrel in Swiss la k? It's just the beginning of the relationship. It needs time to find its feet and there're bound to be teething problems.

Spoke to RA today at post-cage small-talk regarding NTU, SMU. He flared up and asked me to stop asking about it any longer... He seems to have given up hope on both applications. But considering his predicament, I feel that he should focus more on confirming his place in SMU than on other stuff. I guess he's resigned to his fate la.. I'm really not mocking him. I really want him to be in the same batch as me. I sorta understand his feelings of despair, but he really has gotta get rid of his laissez-faire attitude.

My paternal uncle was warded in TTSH a couple of days ago. He has diabetes, and the doctors found that he had intestinal inflammation. He's out now, and he's gotta take medicine. When I heard that he had black (bloody) stools, I really feared the worst. Here was another uncle that really treated me damn well. His girth was representative of his mirth, and he'd always find time to ask me out for supper, much to the disdain of my parents. LOL. I'd always be like his second son to him. The numerous JB trips, the endless discussions about his son and that of my life, he was a genuinely concerned parent and uncle indeed. He found it difficult to express his feelings, like I do, but deep within, he's really a very nice guy.

Dad, on the other hand, fell down the ladder whilst working. Some 7-8 rungs of it. He was too tired I guess. He's now walking/limping with the aid of a walker after seeing a Chinese practitioner and having his foot swathed in bandages. It's really hard on him to do blue-collar jobs, and he told me something touching a couple of weeks ago when I told him not to work that hard. Which went something like this--"Since I did not get to study much and make it big in life, all I can hope to be is seeing my dreams fulfilled in you." He's a great Dad, working so hard and not shirking the responsibility of caring for the family. I've seen worse, much worse. Glad that HER parents are back on talking terms tho'.

C'est la vie? J'adore ma chérie!

I'm gonna try blogging in French from now on.. C'est un jour (what's 'uneventful'? *Flips my trusty Anglo-French dictionnaire*)sans problème... Arghhh I give up.. What I have to show for 3 years of learning French are still kiddy phrases like "Voulez-vous manger des poulet?" (Want-you eat some chicken?) and "Comment allez-vous?" and so on... I guess, fond memories still remain of my French classes down at MOELC. The chicken drumsticks, the pretty French teacher that was more of a maid (Mme Wilmot, anyone?).

Well, memories are an integral part of our life's experience. Sometimes, it's the only way to rid ourselves of the guilt and the emotional baggage that we all too often lug around. Memories are a store of emotion, of feelings bottled up, to be released when reminiscence is just about appropriate. And so, if the current situation might be too hard to bear, it's perhaps better to let go, to allow such unhappy experiences fade into the sepia-toned parts of our brains where memories are stored.

It's been a mixed evening. I'm really sorry to hear about the predicament that K is currently finding himself in. As much as he wants to protect her, its sometimes better to let her know the extent of his hurt, and maybe that would be the better for her maturing into a responsible partner. K mentioned that he's pretty envious of my relationship with HER. I understand that he's got good reason to be so, but inasmuch, I was, and still am a very lucky person to have chanced upon this gem of a lady in TJC. We've had our fair share of quarrels and emotional turmoil, but the relationship is as loving as ever. And so, the fact remains that it takes two hands to clap, and trust has to be established for a relationship to withstand the test of time and boredom. Without the underlying bedrock of faith, the surface is but another collapsible façade. Well K, your family's not the least bit plagued by the numerous financial problems (and the inevitable ensuing emotional trauma) that plague the average middle class family, and I too, for one, would love to be in your shoes. Exuding confidence and delivering presentations and performances with equal panache, you were never one to be intimidated by a crowd. So, there's no comparing to be done la.

On the other hand, Meng and Celeste seem to be enjoying themselves in Swatchland. I'm glad that he's found his other half in Celeste, and it often amazes me how different, and yet utterly blissful they are. Saw Celeste's blog today... Bright, cheery and pretty. She's good with her language use and intimations. Sometimes I wish that SHE was more expressive in her language. Just sometimes. Her utter devotion and bashful adoration just so endears me to her.

And one more thing about SMU admissions... I really wish those dithering idiots that are jamming up the acceptance lines just stop procrastinating and head over to NUS... to rot. And give RA the place that you so ignominously are 'chope-ing'. Reunion with my blood brothers are at hand, and boy have I realised how dreary life is without Koof and Co.

SMU... Here I come..!!!!

Today wuz pretty uneventful... Spent the better part of the day in the hair salon 陪-ing HER thru'out her haircut.. Didn't noe that it'll really take up so much time man... Kaoz... 2 freakadelic hours... haha... I'd knew I'd spoken too soon when SHE asked me (sweetly) "Should I highlight my hair?"... Rhetorical question, I thought.. "WHY NOT???" Arghhh.. I just shortened my job application time by 2 hours.. Nvm.. SHE looks so much better with her tresses trimmed and highlighted. If's that's what makes HER happy, it's worth the wait.

She's outside in the living room now, teaching my sis. (In exchange for me teaching Darren), so here I am, blogging and talking with K. I'm starting work tomorrow, at a market research company called Joshua Research at Fortune Center (www.joshuaresearch.com). $3 per LONG (10 mites) survey completed, no basic summore. Well the pay is a pittance, but it'll have to do for now. Eyeing the Raffles' Place job, but the stupid agency hasn't gotten back to me regarding the enquiry as of yet.

One more thing is that a SMU admissions officer got back to me with regards to the email requesting an extension of the acceptance deadline. I got the extension from NTU, and so I figured sending an email to them would not hurt.. And so they called me to tell me that acceptance and a subsequent cancellation would not incur a penalty, and so I planned to accept the place later on in the day..

At about 5 pm, a Ms Helen called.. Regarding my non-acceptance---again.. I wondered why their admin so cocked up, ahah.. But then, upon hearing that someone else had called me earlier in the day, she revealed the real reason behind the call... It seemed that I had aced the interview and that the Dean had "given concessions" for my entry into SMU. And so, the story goes. I would like very much to think that I am wanted at SMU, unlike NUS where I am just about a nobody. Maybe it helps that SMU is small, and so.... my dream continues... Is this the Promised Land?

End of her NTU life... And my NUS one... And K???

Today's the day SHE finishes HER exams... Feeling absolutely delighted for HER... Baby U've been thru so much, its time for a new beginning... Sure hope SHE enjoys her job in Ernst and Young.

Well, can't say that for me though, as once again, I find myself in the doldrums. Crossroads of my life again.. I sure hope that all will come to a head if I indeed end up in SMU!! Exams were a mess.. I'm definite that I could haf done better had I studied at all.. Cos I managed to do questions, even with minimal preparations. 'Cept for Math, that is. But I didn't wanna put in effort, and get crap results again, like in Sem I. Disappointed, I am. Well I won't stand for anything less than the best.

Saw WW's blog today... Who's WT? She's K's gf... Amazing revelations about K that I don't even noe.. Or issit just the product of a warped, distorted reality that she sees herself in? I just dunno. K has always been a ladies' man, and he always will be. Stellar credentials, engaging personality and boyish good looks that would have girls swoon at his size-10 feet.. My best buddy and mate since the dark days of DHS. Loyal to the core, or I would choose to believe. WW's blog revolves around their relationship. In it, the turmoil and heartache of a 21-year-old are laid bare for the world to see. Her conflicting emotions, her desire to feel loved, all symptomatic of an insecure person. If I could have a heart-to-heart talk with her, I would counsel her to have faith in the good of K. And that confidence in herself would remove the failings of nagging insecurities. She is indeed pretty, and would be more so if she did not lack the confidence to raise herself to trust the good judgement of K. Judge a person by the company he keeps. Seriously, girls flock to K, but would K corroborate in kind? If your relationship were a rock, there is no reason for K to seek solace elsewhere. WW! It's not that I dun like you. We've got a commonality. We are suspicious ppl, and overtly so. We prefer to err on the side of caution, but for one, I trust HER with my heart, and so should you. There is no love in digging out dirt. Forgive him for his failings, and he'll love you all the more for it. WW! I'm doing this.. Cos I really want K to be happy. WITH YOU BY HIS SIDE. No I am not gay. Period.