No work makes me nua...

And so here I am, nua-ness personified... Woke up and decided that work was not on the cards for me today... And so I slept till 11.30 am, upon which SHE had gone to NTU... We're planning to meet later on in the day, say about 6pm... Perhaps for some dinner and a movie?



SHE's gonna fly in a few days, and boy will I miss HER...

Not working and just lazing about indeed makes my brain rot... I've been surfing HWZ and blog-surfing aimlessly since I woke up. A couple rounds of BF2 and I'm sick of it.. I mean, I cannot believe that I've been doing this for ages before I started work... The boredom might just about incite me to go for a round of jogging...

I am so awake....

Just woke up, and the post 5-hour-nap sobriety has yet to wear off... I am so dead. Going to work tomorrow, but it's like 2am and I've yet to sleep... Today's cage soccer rocked! For me at least.. But then again, I've gotta apologise to ZY and co. for not really doing well when I played on their side haha...

And SHE's gonna start work in a another week or so... and I am so going to miss HER when SHE goes on that Bangkok trip... Baby take it easy k? I'll always be here for you... Had a long chat with Celest that day on MSN, and I'm glad that despite indications to the contrary, their foundations of love seems rock-solid... There's always the good times to fall back upon la... Meng, I'm so happy for ya...

I'm gonna spend 65 buckaroos to buy next season's NUFC jersey with Meng...

Despite detesting Souneey and Fat Shep, my love for NUFC as a whole remains undiminished... I hope the sleep bugs bite soon..... *yawn*

The decisive email...

It is thus done...



"Dear YXXXXXX,

I will respect your decision even though I do think that you have
abilities that are not reflected in your results. If only I can convince you of that.

I will proceed with the withdrawal form and have your matric card handed over to RO.

If you remember us later down the line, let us know how you are getting on.

All the best,
AP"

Thanx Prof Loh, and it is with a heavy heart that I have decided to leave NUS. It is, after all, the site of a pair of epic triumphs in Futsal and a few fond memories. Too few indeed for the one year that I have spent there. Well, a new start for me, and I sure hope that there'll be someone to help me along the rigours of adapting to the razzmatazz that is SMU...

In turmoil....

I've got my withdrawal email prepped... It's as follows...

Dear Prof Loh

It has been a hard decision for me to make, with all the time and effort that I have spent so far and the fact that NUS has been very kind to me. However, I think the deciding factor remains that I have lost too much ground to my peers in terms of both my grades and my fundamental knowledge of engineering. Despite so, I am relieved that the ECE Dept has taken notice of the flaws in the methods of instruction and that future students would be the beneficiaries of such corrections that you have initiated.

I will never lose my thirst for technology, and the transfer gives me another chance at regaining my motivation. I hope that I might be given the chance to express my gratitude to both NUS and you. It has been a tough choice, especially after the counselling that you gave me but nonetheless, I believe that withdrawal would be in my best interests.

Yours sincerely
XOXOXOX
Matric No: U04XXXXE

I have yet to submit it... I figure I am going to ponder over it tonite...

Pros:
A fresh start.
Koofius, Meng, Zhong and Nick are there.
Make new friends.
Nearer my place.

Cons:
Waste of a year of my life.
I lag further behind in HER career path.
RA's gonna be the only bro in NUS.
I'll be losing my acquaintances in NUS.

What can I do????
I'll definitely sleep on it tonite... And I wish I could turn back time...

Koof is either a)the most idiotic person in the world; b) the most sentimental person in the world

Okie.. The birthday gifts are comprehensible... But going to Zouk? Alone? Just to ensure that she does not fall prey to the AC guys that went along? Never mind me... If SHE'd been in this situation, I'd guess I'd go as well... Haizzz... the price of first love....

You know, it's hard to let go, especially if your first love is one so deep, that affected you so profoundly... Only then do you learn who you really are. I can vouch for that. She'd been around and about, but I was still lost in the mire of my youth. It's the (mis)education of mine.. I'd grown, and through the various journeys of discovery, I'd have learnt more about myself than all of my formative years put together. The distinction that I'd to make in that very major exam. You'd never believe the agony that so characterised the fateful period.. That sought to tear the very fabric of my soul, so helpless and yet determined I was. And so we got on with our lives, and all I can say is, thanks for all the good times..


I concur, Koof.

Newcastle is a big 菜头 thanx to Souney~~!

Wow... Wat a hell load of $$ u have Mr Graeme Souney. Oops I forgot. It's the fans' moolah... And what right have you to spend it like this? F**k you OK!

I'm sad to see these quality players go... Thrived under Sir Bobby... But wisened up when Souney came along and left!... Wish you all the best!! Come back and thrash Souney's NUFC!!!


Go lor, most of you all are just money-grubbers anyway... 'Cept O'Brien.. Who belongs to a Div One Team.. Maybe if we relegated buy you back lor..


These are admittedly quality signings.. But even I can sign 'em... Souney, sign liao f**k off ok?


Come lor.. Just prove your worth can liao.. If can, lead player revolt ok?


That sums up transfers and transfer rumours for my beloved NUFC... Sian that so many beloved players leaving.

Koof and my total pay thus far..

You know what they say about a fool and his $$. The problem is, Koof definitely ain't no fool. So what has Koof gotta do with my current (measly) pay packet? Well he just spent the equivalent of it in buying gifts for WT. For someone who claims to 'have gotten over her', it certainly doesn't seem like a rational thing to do. But, knowing Koof, it probably came at a moment of reminiscence/indecision (delete where appropriate). His seeming nonchalance over his breakup thingy serves only to underline his apparent confusion..

Well,

but I guess she ain't such a person. Anyhow, perhaps Koof should allow the initial turmoil following the separation to settle down a bit before deciding on the best course of action. I guess, the post-breakup loneliness and unfamiliarity is somewhat traumatic to just about anyone. Maybe 'cept rich kids. Like Paris Hilton. They can cry their hearts out whilst blabbering away on their exclusive Vertu phones and throw Tiffany decors into the sea whilst having a pedicure by their beachfront hotels. And thinking about the cute guy that seems interested for a roll in the hay by the surf. If all else fails, there's always the shopping spree that awaits. But I digress.

It's sorta like this. Maybe the cooling down period serves to remind each other of their (former) partner's good points aka 长处 (punintended) and so drives them back together... Else they decide that life is better without the other and thus move on to better things.

In any case, if Koof decides that WT's the one for him, there shouldn't be anything stopping him.. Koof, I'm with you on this.

___________________________________________________

I called the 72 year-old lady today. On my own accord. She wept on the phone. Stirred up a hornet's nest when I redirected her call to the OIC. But what else could I have done? She sounded incoherent and was beside herself with grief, and my heart went out to her. So I made Seah call her. And check that her financial assistance was in-processing. And that she'd at least someone to talk to.

The cleaner auntie in our office is Teochew. She reminds me so much of my late 阿嬷. I make it a point to smile/nod respectfully at her whenever I see her. She chided me for using Hokkien when I absolutely had no idea what the differences are. Maybe 'cept for a few words. Like 拿. It's 'gia1' in Teochew and 'gia2' in Hokkien.
She said I was Teochew and should enunciate my words in Teochew. I have no idea how she made out what dialectorial origin I was. It reminded me so much of how my 阿嬷 sought to correct my poor Teochew. And it's times like these when festivals are round the corner that I realise how much I miss my 阿嬷. The heady smells of 肉粽 cooking in the pots over a charcoal-fired brazier were a permanent highlight of 端午节. The times when my extended paternal family would gather for a hearty home-cooked meal are now gone. The tears just flow when I visit her on 清明节. Oh how I miss her so!!

I can't remember...

When I was last so tired. Although work was a day of sitting in a chair and calling people, repeating the same routine over and over again, today was incredibly taxing. Maybe it was because I had to listen to this 72 year-old granny who'd to look for a job at her age, whilst pouring out her heartbreaking story and pleading with me to do something for her. I sorta overstepped my authority, requesting for financial assistance (of which I knew nuts about) and referring her to the SS Department.

And another case was that of an 85 year-old man, who'd sounded all hale and hearty, and I thought the forms had it wrong. So I subtly asked for his birthdate, and the sprightly old man answered with a proud 7/3/1919!!! He even had his own mobile phone! I had a shock when he spoke to me in perfect English and requested "for a job, any job will do." Sometimes we live our lives in perfect comfort, whilst not appreciating the small things that we take for granted. Worse thing was that when asked, the perm staff shrugged and said that a job could not be found for a person his age. Well, I never.

I wish I could help 'em.
I really do want to do more than giving empty promises that our dear CDC staff are doing their best to source for them a job. It's quite impossible to find an employer willing to take in the very aged. There should be a law stipulating that all elderly folks should be taken care of in their twilight years. It simply ain't fair.

But then again, what is?
_________________________________________________

And Dad, after much of my pestering, finally bought a pair of DECT phones.
Well, felt guilty after talking so much about living a life of comfort.



But I am tired. And I wanna see Meng BACKKKKK!!!!!

Cage with Jing! KTV with CX!!!

Yesterday was Jing's re-entry onto the Cage scene, and boy, did he attract a crowd or what... For once, Ryan was early, Darrel was there. And Lai Heng too... So many 稀客lor... I had a sucky game tho... Anyway after that we went to Jing's place to freshen up, then we headed to Chinatown for dinner and KTV!!!

马兰拉面 was a passable experience, but the real highlight of the night was K-Ster. I'm an avid fan of KTVing, and tho it may me egoistic of me, but I profess to actually liking my own voice. Lol. I can pull (relatively) high notes, and carry off certain songs well... Such as 童话.. which unfortunately did not form part of my itinerary last night.. But as usual, Koof has the best voice amongst all of us.. And he for once, did not 走声.. CX was too shy to really let loose, but I sure hope that she had a good time!! For WZ's sake...

It was a relatively cheap 11 bucks for the night, but I left early as I had to make my way home on the NEL... And to the next day's work..

Gramps BDae!!!!

T'was my gramps birthday today. My maternal one... And before that, me, Weiming (as opposed to Meng), Weisheng (his bro) and DARL went to Excelsior for a Dim Sum Buffet. It was pretty good and enjoyable, and we had a lot of fun talking cock.

After that, we brought WS to look for a Valencia jersey. Unfortunately, his diminutive stature meant that a Size M made him look like a scarecrow. And so, we had to settle for the next best.. A Roma Size S jersey... I got myself a real steal too... Looky this...



Well $55 bucks for the shoes are a steal for me I guess.. And so she went home, and I went to gran's. Well she joined me at my gran's soon after, and so we celebrated the birthday...

__________________________________________________________________

And so ends the happy part of this post.

Now for some introspection.

I had a talk with my gran just now. She actually thought that I should stay on. She's pretty worried that I'd waste my one year in NUS. Haiz... I wanna finish soon to. For both her and HER. That set me thinking. My grades are as follows.

Module Code Module Title Grade
CS1102C DATA STRUCTURES AND ALGORITHMS C+
EC1301 PRINCIPLES OF ECONOMICS A-
EG1413 CRITICAL THINKING AND WRITING A-
MA1506 MATHEMATICS II C+
PC1432 PHYSICS IIE B-

CAP: 3.34

I did not study for the 2 C-pluses, and overall I am pleased with the results. It leaves me enough room to stay in NUS just in case something crops up. And it allows me to leave NUS in a dignified manner.

So yet again, I am at the crossroads of my life. Should I, or should I not? Can someone direct the traffic please?

Life is like a box of Ferrero Rocher. Full of worms waiting to hatch.

And 3 of them just did. They hatched and wreaked havoc in RA's world. And so his fucked up luck carries on. SMU rejection. NUS results. NTU rejection.

This sucks. This sucks big time. And I really wanted RA with me as we went thru SMU togetha, albeit one year behind the rest. And so RA could get to know the friends he made at SMU better. Even though he was at NUS, it's simply amazing how he clicked with the SMU guys and gals. So much more so than I ever did. He deserves the switch more than I do. And he desperately needs a change of environs. How now.

Perhaps I should stay at NUS. See my time thru with RA. I'll switch a fac. And I'll cui my dreams. ARGGGHHHHHH FUCK IT ALL!!!!!

Why didn't we see the opportunity that lay in front of us. Why did we not go SMU as the rest did. Many more whys. It's easy to curse fate. But it somehow has a way of lashing out at you when you least expect it.

Sorry Jing. Your return and our surprise would normally have merited a post of its own. But we're happy to have you back. We really are. I guess the one that needs us the most now is RA. And I certainly hope something/"that someone" works out for him. Give him a break.